Scene: Today...it's a 1/2 day from school...I'm happy and carefree and looking forward to a 4 day weekend.
I smell something funny, but think nothing of it as I put Josh into the car. hmmm, I should have thought about it more, but I was just so damn happy about the weekend. As I am pulling Josh out of the car, he's poopy!!!
Shit! Now, it's all over his pants! Luckily, not in the car...at least I dont' think so.
Now, Josh totally denies the poop. "no! Mama...no poopy!" So I drag him up on the changing table and as I pull off his pants, I'm faced with a dilema (if you are a mom...you know)
The poop is everywhere...so what move can I make that will cause the least amount of poop spread-age.
I decide to just go for pulling the pants straight off...fast. I'm thinking that perhaps the force of the pull will keep the poop contained. No, physical properties was never my specialty...now there's just shit everywhere!
I get him up and into the bathroom for a quick shower rinse off. At the very moment I put him down, he starts to run. I have thoughts of him tripping over himself and a yellow smear on my beige carpet. So, I make a snap decision. I decide that I'm willing to sacrifice myself for my carpet. I lunge quickly and grab him, holding him close to my chest.
shit...and more shit...
He finally gets into the tub and clean, then states the obvious..."mama, there's poop EVERYWHERE"
CASUALITIES OF TONIGHT'S EPISODE
1) Josh's pants
2) Josh's left sock (I pulled a bit too hard)
3) two diapers...dont' ask...
4) The phone (small amount of fecal matter) I won't be trying to call someone whilst changing a diaper again..
5) 2 grocery sacks...double bagging is important...no way was I putting that diaper in the diaper genie
6) my LHS hoodie from High School (so sorry Royals!)
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1 comment:
That is the funniest story ever! I can totally relate all except for sacrificing myself. I haven't had a kid try to run on me yet. We are doing good. How is everything with you?
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